I've been mulling over this post in my mind for weeks. I want to handle this graciously, but honestly. I don't share my blog with many "real" people in my life, but if they do come by, I don't want to be ashamed of what I've written. So, what's the big deal?
My dad is getting married. July 29th.
I'm happy for him. I really am. I know he's been lonely. I always expected him to marry again. Mom wanted him to marry again. (She even tried to make recommendations! LOL) It's been a year and a half since Mom passed, and that's a respectable time of mourning. Marsha, his bride-to-be, is a lovely lady.
It's hard. It's harder than I thought it would be. Everything is going to change. Everything.
I was going to give Daddy a scrapbook of his and my mom's trip to Scotland from about 5 years ago. Mom had started working on it when she first got sick and never finished it. I somehow ended up with the pictures and supplies. I was waiting for a time when it would not be so painful for him. Now, it just seems like it would be tacky. "Here's your wedding present, Daddy. A scrapbook of the biggest trip you and Mom ever took!" Umm, no, I don't think so.
Marsha lives in another town. She has a business of her own, so it makes sense for Daddy to move to where she is. The travel distance for me is just a bit farther, but that means I no longer have a reason to go "home". I was thinking today about lifelong friends of my parents that I may never see again. That makes me sad (and determined that I will go back for visits).
Holidays will present new and different challenges. Daddy will no longer belong to us alone. He will have to consider his new wife and her family needs. That is as it should be, but it's just one more thing to juggle.
I'm going to have a step-mother. Wild.
And I know there will be other changes that I haven't even thought of yet.
I want to emphasize again that I am happy for my dad. I really, really am.
I'm just a bit sad for me.