While trying to decide on a blog name, I checked out a link a friend of mine suggested. I saw that someone recommended song lyrics. So, what type of music do I immediately think of? Contemporary Christian (it's just about all I listen to these days). What group did I think of? Mercyme. Why Mercyme? They have two songs that have meant a lot to me in the past year - "I Can Only Imagine" and "Homesick".
My mom had cancer and had been battling it for several years. This time, she had been in the hospital almost 3 weeks. I was staying at the hospital with her (relieving my dad). Her condition had really deteriorated, but I still believed that she could recover. The tv was on while I was feeding her dinner. A Billy Graham crusade came on. Now, I don't typically watch Billy Graham, and if I hadn't been in the middle of feeding Mom, I would have changed the channel. But I was, so I didn't. A group was performing at the beginning and that group was MercyMe. The song they sang was "I Can Only Imagine". Here are some of the lyrics.
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
This song had moved me before, but this night, I started crying. I didn't want to cry in front of my mom, but it was several minutes before I could stop. I knew there was a chance Mom would be seeing Jesus before too much longer and it didn't really hit me until I heard that song. I was right. Mom fell asleep that night and never woke again. She fell into a coma and went to be with Jesus four days later. That was December 11, 2004.
So, while the word "imagine" can bring so many things to mind, to me it is the thought of Jesus, Heaven, and seeing my mom again.